I’m looking back to when I had babies, thinking of the things I wasn’t prepared for.

The sheer weight of responsibility, knowing that what you do and don’t do makes a real and lifelong difference to your children. The fear of things that might go wrong; the guilt when anything does. The small unforgettable joys, the first-time discoveries, the newness of smiles and babbles and squashed-up dribbled-on daisies handed to you with pride. The learning to be someone you haven’t been before; the finding out how to inhabit an altered body.
​
The plastic tide, and how not to drown in it. How many thousands of toys will invade your house; how much work it will take to fend off the chaos of superabundance. The efforts to cut the volume of plastic products down to a useful and not overwhelming level. 

I’m not saying I hate being a teacher, but there are some things I really, really hate teaching. And one of them is The Writing Lesson. Yes, that’s right: I’m a literary writer, and I dread teaching children to do writing.

When I’m teaching, I like to know I’m encouraging learners, not disheartening them. And the way we administer The Writing Task in key stage 2 (ages 7-12) in Scotland is, in my experience, disheartening to many of them.

We give children a “stimulus” to begin with—a question of personal significance, a fascinating object, an interesting scenario to get them interested. So far, so good. I’m all in favour of writing in response to a sensory or emotional experience. It’s great seeing children catching the inspiration, eager or at least willing to begin.
​
Then we require that before they start the writing, they must produce a Story Plan. Using the template provided. Maybe it’s a series of six drawings or an Introduction/Development/Conclusion format. 

Every now and then this comes up again on social media. Someone posts a complaint that schools are WASTING CHILDREN’S TIME teaching UNNECESSARY KNOWLEDGE!

In one version, the meme claims that we only need to know how to grow food, filter water, etc. to survive. And teachers (how dare they!) are teaching children about the beauty of literature, the lessons of history and the wonders of science. Because, of course, if you’re growing food, you’ll never need a working knowledge of genetics, or if you’re filtering water, you’ll never want to know what pathogens are and how they spread…

Another, similar, meme claims that teachers (oh, how dare they!) are introducing the next generation to algebra or geometry instead of teaching them to fill in tax forms. How terrible to think of children visualising the mathematical properties of the universe when they could be staring at a tax form!